Why is the "Woe" a part of marriage?

Lowell's poem, "To Speak of Woe That is in Marriage" surprised me. From the title alone, I was expecting something more traditional and conservative. The language used in the title does not at all mirror the language of the poem, and I wonder if there is some irony to this. While the title uses more formal, older English, the poem itself uses more common language and includes rhyme. This makes the poem feel more casual and lighter than one would expect after reading the title alone. Because my expectations were proven false, I was particularly surprised by the content of the poem. The different unscrupulous things that the narrator's husband does are spoken about in a funny way, seeming to be accepted by her even though they are clearly wrong and unfair. I had trouble understanding why this was so, and why the narrator allows her husband to get away with all of the terrible things he does. She even admits she finds the things he does to be "unjust," yet she does not speak of asking him to change his ways or leaving him.

I think this poem would not have been able to be written in an earlier time period, purely because of the content. The woman so openly degrading her husband, even if she does not take action, would not have been accepted. I do not like that her husband gets away with all he is doing; it comes off as a statement against the strength of women. Instead of leaving her husband, or challenging him, she just wonders why he is the way he is, showing a sense of dependency on him. I think this gives a bad message, and I wonder how it would be accepted in more contemporary times. The woman is being strong by acknowledging her husbands wrong doings, but not strong enough to do something about them. I wonder if Lowell intended for it to be like this, and what the meaning was behind it. The title seems like he thinks this is woe is in all marriages, as if it were standard. I don't like that, and wish the character stood up for herself because this "woe" should not be present in any marriage.